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Removing wallpaper. Before I purchased Casa Reiss-Crosby I thought that my personal Hell might be watching The Golden Girls non-stop while listening to Michael Bolton and Celine Deon singing a duet with Kenny G blowing the ass-horn in the background.

Nope….. does not even compare to removing wallpaper.

The experts (and numerous websites) will tell you that this is such an easy process. They blow sunshine up your ass letting you think that it’ll be poodles and daises. NO it’s really barbed wire and open scabs…it’s horrible

            Their Idea                                                 The reality

I first began this (miss) adventure last Sunday; I went to my local Home Depot and rented a wallpaper steamer, (a devise that heats water and makes skin peeling steam as to remove your wall paper) it worked well, but I was crawling along at a snail’s pace. During my 2 day rental, We made it through 3 rooms, (Sara made it through a bathroom with the conventional spray; her Hell was far worse than mine) but 3 rooms worth of wallpaper remained. To make matters worse the previous owners used a lot of glue and did not prime the walls before putting up the paper, this exacerbated the process making it incredibly slow and even more painstaking than I’m guessing it should have been. I knew, even then, that the worse was yet to come.

So this previous Friday was the day I was going to make the wallpaper my bitch and take it down, I knew it would take a Herculean effort. I went to Home Depot again and rented the steamer at 5:06 pm Friday April 4^th, I proceeded to go home and steam, 24 hours later I had finished (I slept 3 of the 24 hours) …but not without burning myself numerous times from the steam that issued from my portable Hell-fire device.

My advice, if you’re going to remove wallpaper, call me. I’ll bring the Celine Deon and laugh at you the entire time, that way you get the full effect…