The End is Near Chinese Democracy Unleashed!
Thursday, April 10th, 2008
That’s right game over.
Reports indicate that Guns N Roses long awaited follow up to their double album release Use Your Illusions 1 & 2 may see the light of day this year. This must be a sign of the end of the world and the forthcoming zombie apocalyptic invasion.I can see nothing else coming from the release of the 14 years in a the making Chinese Democracy by Guns N Roses. (well okay by Axl Rose and whoever he could scrounge up to help him out and call it Guns N Roses)
I must admit when i first heard this was happening i was a little worried because I’m sure i made a bet sometime in my past that China would actually become a democratic country before the album Chinese Democracy ever came out. I feel like i bet a lot of money on it too so hopefully whoever that was is not attempting to hunt me down. Although I’m not trembling in fear of having to pay up just yet. I mean this is Axl we are talking about. He has had about as many botched take offs for this album as NASA has seen in recent years with fuselage problems. There have been concerts, leaked songs, rumors, and so much more over the past decade about its release. Dates have even been set. Of course those dates have come and gone. At this time though it has been reported to have been delivered to Geffen and is rumored to have a total cost in production over years of 13 million dollars. I’ll say that again 13 MILLION dollars. The article mentions that Axl and Geffen are haggling over money and rights issues. Hey Axl you spent 13 mil what more do you want!
I don’t even know who the musicians besides Axl would be on the album. I know at one point Buckethead was working with him, but they had a falling out (who hasn’t had a falling out with Axl). Will his work be on the album? Will the album be any good? Will it sound like it was pieced together or will it have a cohesive flow? I know it won’t have Izzy’s great riffs and hooks, Slash’s soaring signature solos, or Duff steady baselines and strong backing vocals which means it is off to a poor start.
In addition those preparing for the end can do so with the knowledge that they will at least be armed with a can of Dr Pepper. You may have heard about a month ago Dr. Pepper put out a blanket statement saying that if Chinese Democracy was released in 2008 they would give every man woman and child in the free world a can of Dr Pepper. I know when i pack my zombie survival kit i always carry a can of Dr Pepper! Obviously the execs at Pepsi know that if this album comes out we are all up the creek and our paddles are turning into snakes.
I for one would like to see this train wreck come to an end and hear this atrocity, but the realist in me says it ain’t really gonna happen. I feel my bet earlier in life is pretty safe, but only time will tell. One has to wonder if the recent destruction of religion on Zombie Chatter was the catalyst to set these events in motion? The release of Chinese Democracy is a sure sign of us moving closer to the events in Revelations. Perhaps if a release date is set we will have to have a new Zombie Chatter countdown on our side bar!