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Great moments in snippy Outlook inbox threads

From: Ava <RITA>
Sent: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 10:44 AM
To: Thomas <RITA>; Michele <RITA>; Timothy <RITA>; Melvin <RITA>; Kim <RITA>; David <RITA>; Charles <RITA>; Jeffrey <RITA>
Subject: Office of Public Affairs Titles

Lately I have been getting calls asking for the title of various people in this office. I don’t have a correct listing so if you have [...]

My five brilliant keys to a successful season!!!11!!1!LOLOLOL

We all know that unfounded optimism about the upcoming college football season is as deeply rooted in Gamecock tradition, as the Cockaboose, Tally Ho! and inexplicable losses to mid-major teams (see homecoming game against ECU circa 1994). Thus, I feel that I have as much a right to analyze the “keys” to a successful [...]

It took 13 years, and a vicious, sad attack..but…

…I finally concede there is no possibility I could ever win a fight with a chimpanzee. Not only could I not win a fight with a chimp, it would not even be close – the battle would be similar to this brief summary of the 911 call about ‘Travis’ the chimp attacking a friend of [...]

Aaaw…look at what the ol’ girlfriend baked for me..

Mmm…exactly how I like my sprinkles–obscene.
The above image was sent to me while I was at work.
I especially like the acronym STFU, and Snoopified “shiz”, being intermingled with actual swear words.
(Honestly, I would be pleasantly surprised if she could successfully bake a cupcake; even if it has ‘bitch’ sprinkles.)

Stupid Things I Do: Let the ATM machine eat my debit card.

It’s Christmas Eve, most stores are closing, the next 24 or so hours are going to be devoid of access to amenities such as groceries and liquor. I need to make a deposit, withdraw a little bit of cash for myself and to pick up a few last minute gifts, so a short detour to [...]

What’s wrong here?

h/t  to Amber

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

The worst NES games of all time — Part 2 — “John Elway’s Quarterback”

Wow…I am already pissed off, and I have barely begun to write about this heaping pile of horseshit that attempts to pass itself off as a legitimate contender in sports video game history. I mean, just look at the box-art: John Elway’s big, fat fucking face, with his Austin Powers teeth…posed so ridiculously with the NES [...]

The worst NES games of all time — Part 1 — “Cybernoid”

While most NES games managed to avoid the plague of irritating futility that killed the Atari 2600, Cybernoid revives the mediocre formula that made so many of the 1st generation console games unsatisfying. I mean, the graphics are OK for the era, but Cybernoid has the three critical attributes of a video game that would [...]

My arch-nemesis: the bird.

 
What is the definition of a pet? For some individuals a pet is a loyal labrador retriever; companion who both shows and accepts your affection. For others it may be an old house cat who is a fixture in their family life, or a hamster, or any other living creature for whom they take responsibility for [...]