Out of Office Replies
As we start to move closer to summer many of us will have the pleasure of enjoying life and escaping our 4 walled 5 day a week prison. If you are lucky enough to escape we generally feel the need to let people know we are not there with a handy dandy out of office reply. So all the other prisoners can be envious of our escape.
When planning your next trip please keep these “Out of Office” replies in mind by comedian Neal Boortz!
1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the e-mails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received. 5. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over….)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Lucille’ instead of Steve.
Tags: Neal Boortz, Out of Office, Summer Vacation
April 18th, 2008 at 8:10 am
The response with the e-mail server problem would be an awesome message, unless it was done to me, then it would really suck..
April 18th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Funny List. I have one:
This is one I really got one time:
“I am away from my desk on an important assignment, and don’t have much time to check email. If this email is critical, please put URGENT in the subject line and I will get back to you within two weeks”
No joke, this is what it really said….copied and pasted. If I put this on my email “out of office” I would get fired.
April 18th, 2008 at 9:50 am
I personally loved the one about being out to the doctor in order to have their brain and heart removed in preperation to join managment.
April 18th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Out of Office Comment: “It’s Friday Bitches! And my weekend started at 2:00…I’ll get back to you on Monday if I feel like it.”