With all the recent posts about Star Wars, the Apocalypse and other nerdy shit…I thought this would be helpful for some of you looking for something to do this weekend.
Browsing Posts published in February, 2008
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, but every now and again you come across something so bizarre that you have to share it with the world. I’m not the first to uncover this nugget, but I think you’ll find this simultaneously entertaining, disturbing and sad. (Like when you see the guy walking down the street talking to himself making funny hand gestures; you laugh inwardly, but hope to God he does not go completely go mental and kill you with his bare hands.
He took his job so seriously, because, he thought that it was his stepping stone to the police force in Ath*** (again I use the * to protest the innocent in
http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/
Y: The Last Man, is a comic book series about a man an his monkey. More specifically, the series is about a plague that wipes out every mammal with a Y chromosome on the planet….except the last man, Yorik Brown, and his monkey, Ampersand.
Only females are left.
According to Wikipedia:
“Society is plunged into chaos as infrastructures collapse and the surviving women everywhere try to cope with the loss of the men, their survivors’ guilt, and the knowledge that humanity is doomed to extinction. Vaughan meticulously crafts the new society that emerges out of this chaos, from the conversion of the phallic Washington Monument into a monument to the dead men, to the genesis of the fanatical ultra-feminist Daughters of the Amazon, who believe that Mother Earth cleansed itself of the “aberration” of the Y chromosome, to male impersonators becoming valued romantically and professionally.”
Evidently, New Line Cinema bought the movie rights and a script, director and producer have been attached to the project. Filming is set for 2008, although some sites on the net have reported that the project is slow going.
All I can say is “why the hell haven’t I heard of this before now?” This is awesome. Let me re-iterate….A MAN and his MONKEY and a world full of FEMALES are all that is left.
If it was me, I can imagine the conversation going something like this:
FEMALES: “Hey Admin, we need to continue the existence of man kind. Would you mind pumping these 50,000 women full of sperm?”
ADMIN: “Sure”
I guess, with the good comes the bad. No more good sports….I mean can you imagine a world full of nothing but the WNBA?
Anyway, I’ll be on the lookout for more info about this as the movie is developed.
There are a whole bunch of these…
I was watching Terminator 2: Judgement Day last night, and during the movie, Arnold is explaining how the the machines take over the world by shooting nukes at Russia, who in turn shoot back causing a nuclear war thus destroying human civilization. He goes onto tell the exact date, and to my surprise, the date was in 1997…..11 years ago.
This got me thinking….In what other movies has Hollywood told us that the end of the world has happened or is going to happen, and actually given a date? Many times, they just say something like “in the not too distant future” or “present” or something to that effect.
Anyway, I decided to look up some of my favorite post-apocalypse movies. Below is the list that I came up with. Enjoy 
In order of apocalyptic date:
The Time Machine (the original) -
- How it Happens: George, played by Rod Taylor, builds a time machine and travels forward through time. Along the way, he watches the fall of mankind after a third world war destoys all of civilization.
- Movie Released: 1960
- Apocalypse Date: 1966
Last Man on Earth -
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How it Happens: Dr. Robert Morgan, played by Vincent Price, battles vampires as the last living man on earth after a plague takes out all of civilization.
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Movie Released: 1964
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Apocalypse Date: 1968
The Omega Man -
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How it Happens: Robert Neville, played by Charlton Heston, is the last man on earth after biological warfare between the Soviets and China destroy the entire human population. (This is a remake of the Last Man on Earth)
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Release Date: 1971
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Apocalypse Date: 1975
12 Monkeys -
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How it Happens: James Cole, played by Bruce Willis, travels back in time from a post-apocalyptic future to try to understand what caused the virus that destroyed 5 billion humans forcing the survivors to live underground.
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Release Date: 1995
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Apocalypse Date: 1996 -1997 (virus take a year to kill everybody)
Terminator 2: Judgement Day -
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How it Happens: Machines take over the world by shooting nukes at Russia, who in turn shoot back causing a nuclear war thus destroying human civilization. Movie focuses on a cyborg, played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is sent back in time to protect the future leader and savior of man kind from another cyborg intent on killing him.
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Release Date: 1991
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Apocalypse Date: 1997
Reign of Fire -
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How it Happens: During construction in an underground cavern in London, a hibernating dragon is discovered and escapes, and soon thousands of them work their way through Europe and eventually the rest of the world, burning everything and feeding on the ashes.
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Release Date: 2002
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Apocalypse Date: 2008
I am Legend -
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How it Happens: After the outbreak of a lethal virus in December 25, 2009, U.S. Army virologist Lieutenant Colonel Robert Neville, played by Will Smith, is left as the last healthy human on the planet. (This is a remake of The Last Man on Earth and the Omega Man)
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Release Date: 2007
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Apocalypse Date: 2009
The Postman -
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How it Happened: War has crippled the earth into an apocalyptic wasteland. The story follows an enigmatic and initially nameless drifter, played by Kevin Costner.
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Release Date: 1997
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Apocalypse Date: 2013
War, plague, machines and dragons. Hollywood seems to have it’s fair share of ways to destroy man kind. One thing is consistent, the dates have not been right so far. Lets hope they keep missing the mark.
Hailed as the Noah’s Ark for securing biological diversity for future generations, the “Doomsday” Seed Vault is built to protect millions of food crops from climate change, wars and natural disasters. Dug into the permafrost of a remote arctic Norwegian mountain, it has been built to withstand everything up to a nuclear strike.
So why is this the perfect place to head to in-case of a zombie apocalypse? The reasons are below:
- Zombies can not live in arctic regions
- Secure area that you can safeguard from motorcycle gangs, gov’t agencies and general bad guys who might try to steal your stuff….
- In-case the government goes mad and tries to nuke the Zombie population, you will be safe
- Tons of seeds = tons of food with the right sunlight and a little preparation
Be sure to bring a girl. It could get lonely. In-fact, bring a couple of girls. They could get lonely
BRISBANE, Australia (AP) — A 16-foot python stalked a family dog for days before swallowing the pet whole in front of horrified children in the Australian tropics, animal experts said Wednesday.
The boy and girl, aged 5 and 7, watched as the scrub python devoured their silky terrier-Chihuahua crossbreed Monday at their home near Kuranda in Queensland state.
Stuart Douglas, owner of the Australian Venom Zoo in Kuranda, said scrub pythons typically eat wild animals such as wallabies, a smaller relative of the kangaroo, but sometimes turn to pets in urban areas.
“It actively stalked the dog for a number of days,” Douglas said.
“The family that owned the dog had actually seen it in the dog’s bed, which was a sign it was out to get it,” he added.
“They should have called me then, but (the snake) got away and three or four days later, I was called and went around and removed it” after the dog had been killed, Douglas said.
By the time Douglas arrived, all that could be seen of the dog was its hind legs and tail.
The zoo manager, Todd Rose, said pythons squeeze their prey to death before swallowing it whole. The 5-year-old dog would have been suffocated within minutes.
“The lady who was there threw some plastic chairs at the snake, but you’ve got to remember that this is about 50 kilograms (110 pounds) of aggressive muscle,” Rose said.
Removing the half-swallowed dog could have harmed or even killed the python, Rose said, because dogs have sharp teeth and claws that could do the snake internal damage if it were wrenched out.
The snake was still digesting the dog at the zoo Wednesday. It will soon be moved to the bush, Douglas said.
When you have small children and pets, and a python starts hanging around…it’s time to call the Rodent Wrangler. I mean come on, all the warning signs were in place for someone to act in advance on this but I guess the “that would never happen” mentality kicked in. No sympathy from me on this one. This family is lucky that all he got was the dog instead of chilling out at the zoo digesting the 2 kids right now.
I am laying in bed around 5am this morning dreaming of supermodels, when suddenly I am jolted awake. You might think it was the storm-of-the-century brewing outside that woke me up. However, this was not the case. I woke up to my dog, Mr. Marley, trying to climb over my face shivering like he had just seen the ghost of doggy past.
You see, Mr. Marley is a rescue dog. At some point in his past, I suspect that he lived outside where he was subject to all of Mother Nature’s bitchy moods. In the case of a thunder/lightning storm….he freaks the f*ck out!
Anyway, on with my story. I am jolted awake thinking that I’m being strangled by one of the supermodels….until I realize my WUSS dog is having a spazz-attack. He literally sat there and shivered for almost 2 hours as the storm came and went this morning. With each sound of thunder or strike of lighting, he shook just a little more. I actually thought he may have a frickin’ heart attack.
He didn’t.
Anyway, this woke me up for the storm. I have to say that the storm was pretty massive. The biggest I have seen in a while. There was one point where my wife and I both woke up. We heard a pretty big crash in the back yard, the wind sounded like it was going to take the roof off, and for a minute we actually discussed going into the basement…..laziness prevailed and we stayed in bed.
As the storm passed and my dog calmed down, I got up to go look outside (it was light at this point). I first looked in the back and saw that my neighbor’s backyard had two very large trees that had fallen. The trees fell into his yard, not mine. However, I consider myself really lucky this morning. If the trees fell the other way, they most certainly would have hit my house.
Other minor damage…..My South Carolina Flag outside is broken. Don’t know if that is a pre-cursor for the upcoming season. Lets hope not.
Anyway, Mr. Marley is now asleep. His tortured night has turned into a blissful rest during the day. I dont’ think it’s fair that he gets to go back to sleep since I have to sit up and work all day. I think I’m gonna go mess with him and set the alarm or something….
The curse words are bleeped out but it still may not be safe to watch at your workplace. Muchos Cameos…keep an eye out for McLovin’
