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Every year around this time my mouth drops open and my eyes get big and i race to my online bank account to see if somehow i have more in savings then I actually do. I must know if somehow the bank has made a mistake and I’ll have enough money to fly out to California to enjoy one of America’s best festival lineups.

The big announcement dropped yesterday and let me just be the first to say thank you to the organizers of Coachella. My heart did not skip any beats and I have not had to wrestle with the thought of selling barely necessary body parts to pay the $270 Dollar charge for 3 day access plus airfare out to Cali. Glory Hallelujah! The line up sucks and there is no way I’m even tempted to fly across the country to see it.

Here are the “Big 3″

• Jack Johnson
• Portishead
• Roger Waters

Seriously is this a joke? Jack Johnson? Jack Motherfuckin Johnson? Don’t get me wrong he plays “nice” music, but headlining a night? As in that is what the entire day is leading up to? Then we have Portishead…. Now I’m not a big fan of the band but they have some cool stuff, again though Headlining a night of the festival? Really? Then the big closer Roger Waters doing Dark Side of the Moon. Okay that is kind of cool and all. If the rest of the festival was on par with how it was in the past i probably would not have an issue with that even though he is playing ancient music at a festival more known for bringing in up and coming talent.

Some other bands of note that will be there are: the national, the verve, the raconteurs, the breeders, animal collective, john butler trio, black lips, architecture in helsinki, death cab for cutie, dwight yoakam,  rilo kiley, mia, cold war kids, malkmus & the jicks, deVotchka, cold war kids, islands, vhs or beta, dredg, my morning jacket, spiritualized, justice, metric, autolux, black mountain, the annuals, and others.  You can find the full line up here

Don’t get me wrong there are some nice bands in that list and some of them i like a lot. It just seems the festival doesn’t have the punch that it had in the past. Before it seemed so many of the band names rolled off my tongue and desire ran through me to see them. I’ve read that perhaps a lot of the bands i  did not list were electronic artist and this year’s lineup has a great electronic line up… Well that is not really my thing so maybe that is why I’m underwhelmed today.

Sorry guys Jack Johnson is just not gonna get it done for me. So what do you all think? Am i being too harsh? Am i just not hip and i should be jumping for joy for these bands?

We now have a new sizzling HOT Terminator that has joined the cyborg ranks - Summer Glau. 

Joining Kristanna Loken, who played TX in T3, Summer is the most recent installment of chicks sent back in time to get spanked.

During Fox’s season premier of Terminator: The Sara Connor Chronicles, Summer Glau, best known for her role in the short lived Firefly series, is introduced as the teenager with a metal skeleton and glowing eyes.  

Sent back in time to protect John Connor from a series of Bad-Guy Terminators, she has already shown a more human-like range of emotion not seen in previous Terminators cast.  Will she make it in this role?  Only time will tell.  In the mean-time, I’ll look forward to watching her blow some……..thing up.

So yesterday like most men you were probably sitting down enjoying the Green Bay Packers playing the New York Giants for an opportunity to go to the greatest sporting event in the world the Super Bowl. If you were you probably noticed the Green Bay Bikini Girls. These girls are legit fans. I mean what kind of dedication does it take to get down to your bikini and support your team. Sure if you are in south florida not that big of a deal, but when the game time temp yesterday was -3 Degrees…. that is some serious dedication to be applauded. Evidently this was not just a one time thing either they go to all the games and take it off for their team and Brett Farve. More girls need to be into football like this. I’m also willing to chalk this one up as one more reason to love Brett Farve.. I mean the guy has fans who will take their clothes off for him in the freezing cold!

So, it is now official that the tiger attack was provoked by intoxicated dumb asses taunting the tiger. This is a tragic incident no matter what, but I now feel a little less sorry for the drunk assholes attacked and a little bit more sorry for the tiger. I personally can relate to the tiger. By that I mean, having subserviant assholes taunt me and one day I am going to unleash the tiger on them. The tiger was just doing what tigers do. If the tiger could talk, I am guessing it would say something Taxi Driverish like… you talking to me? The look on the drunk assholes faces must have been something to remember, as the tiger climbed over the wall. Any weak individual who “fucks with” a much stronger entity, has it coming! (I’m talking to you Iran).

With the exception of this video…

ST. PAUL, Minn. – In an effort to help Sen. Larry Craig, the American Civil Liberties Union is arguing that people who have sex in public bathrooms have an expectation of privacy.

Craig, of Idaho, is asking the Minnesota Court of Appeals to let him withdraw his guilty plea to disorderly conduct stemming from a bathroom sex sting at the Minneapolis airport.

The ACLU filed a brief Tuesday supporting Craig. It cited a Minnesota Supreme Court ruling 38 years ago that found that people who have sex in closed stalls in public restrooms “have a reasonable expectation of privacy.”

That means the state cannot prove Craig was inviting an undercover officer to have sex in public, the ACLU wrote.

The Republican senator was arrested June 11 by an undercover officer who said Craig tapped his feet and swiped his hand under a stall divider in a way that signaled he wanted sex. Craig has denied that, saying his actions were misconstrued.

The ACLU argued that even if Craig was inviting the officer to have sex, his actions wouldn’t be illegal.

“The government cannot prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Senator Craig was inviting the undercover officer to engage in anything other than sexual intimacy that would not have called attention to itself in a closed stall in the public restroom,” the ACLU wrote in its brief.

The ACLU also noted that Craig was originally charged with interference with privacy, which it said was an admission by the state that people in the bathroom stall expect privacy.

Craig at one point said he would resign but now says he will finish his term, which ends in January 2009.

What the fuck is up with this Larry Craig guy?  Why won’t this senile old man just admit that he is a flaming butt-sexual and move on.  And why is the ACLU jumping in to argue the “privacy” of a bathroom stall?  The fact that they call these places “Public Restrooms” should be all you need to know when privacy comes into question.  How many of you have gone into a ”Public Restroom” only to find that some turd-wrangler has just “set up shop” in a neighboring stall and has already begun to dominate the atmosphere with his shit-mist?  If that stall was private, he would be keeping it to himself.  Also, let’s not forget that Larry Craig was accused of touching the foot of a man that was not in the same stall as him.  The privacy issue is null at that point.    I will end this rant here before the sex issue is brought into the mix.

Is sex in a bathroom stall private?  What’s your opinion?

Pac Man Jones back in the news. It seems he just can’t stay away from the Strip Clubs. This time Pac Man was tearing it up in Atlanta at the Body Tap. Evidently He not only likes to make it rain dollar bills for girls but he is fond of hay-makers to the face.

According to rotoworld Pac  Man is being accused of assaulting the female manager because his entourage was over charged and the club was “stealing” money from him. Not only did he hit the manager of the club evidently it was  sucker punch when she was not looking. This is after several attempts to punch her straight on had failed. Way to go Pac Man! I guess since you can’t lay any hits on men on the football field any more you have to take it out on the ladies.

Does this surprise anyone? This guy is a thug and needs to land in jail. I bet the league will think twice about allowing him to return to the NFL in March now!

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed
when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed,
which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw
that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked ‘Is someone in your house?’ and
he said ‘no’. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he
should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when
available. George said, ‘Okay,’ hung up, counted to 30, and phoned
the police again.

‘Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were
people stealing things from my shed Well, you don’t have to worry about
them now because I’ve just shot them.’ Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit,
and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips’ residence and caught the
burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: ‘I thought you said that you’d shot them!’
George said, ‘I thought you said there was nobody available!’

So how was your day yesterday? Think it was bad? Did you wake up late and spill coffee on yourself?  Did your boss lay into you pretty good? Did you walk outside only to find all four of your tires slashed with a note from your wife saying see you in court with a picture of you and your gay lover blown up and attached to your hood?

Well all those things would seem quite trivial to you if you were Travis Stonehouse  from North Vancouver Washington.  You see last week Travis was minding his business and taking care of business in a Porta-Potty when Mother Nature came calling. Unfortunately Mother Nature wasn’t just number 2 on this ill fated day for Travis it was a Tornado.  To quote Travis “It was my worst nightmare come True”

Travis man I don’t doubt you. Getting slung around in a plastic box full of shit and piss from god knows who and then dropped on the ground is right up there with having my balls chopped off on things to do when I’m bored!

The news reportquotes that on that ill fated date it rained fish from the nearby lake and a man trapped in a Porta-Potty.

They obviously interviewed Travis, but I did not see any info on why he was in the said Porta Potty. Inquiring minds want to know what the hell he was doing in the middle of this severe storm taking a deuce? I mean was he on his way home from work and just could not hold it anymore and saw the porta-potty on the side of the road with a shimmer and glow? Could he really not hold it so he rushed in only to shortly later to be swept away by Mother Nature? Also the story mentions he was trapped in the Porta Potty…. Just how long was he trapped with feces and piss oozing all over him?

Poor journalism here or perhaps the tale was just so horrific it could not be reported.

So boys and girls the next time you are having a bad day or the next time you decide to brave the Porta-Potty think about poor Travis Stonehouse and the horrors he has endured.