Now It was time to throw this party into overdrive, so I did what any young blooded American would do. Yep, you guessed it, I tuned into C-SPAN. Fat people have Twinkies, Senator Craig has bathroom stalls and I have C-SPAN, ‘nuf said. I arrived at channel 30 just in time to find that I had traded one elephant and a pile of dung in for nine! Of course, I’m speaking of the 2008 Republican Presidential candidates. They were replaying CNN’s youtube debate from the day before, so I strapped on my bicycle helmet and prepared for the worst. Guliani was rambling like a crazed billy-goat with a speech impediment. Mitt Romney was nervously wiping away the jet black shoe polish that was slowly oozing from his suspiciously well defined hairline and Fred Thompson was squeezin’ in a cat-nap. Yep, just another day in American politics.
Watching these yahoos yuk it up began to trigger images of zombies in my mind, but not just any zombies, zombies with the gift of gab….. talking zombies. Why the hell was I thinking of talking zombies? Oh shit!! That’s it, ZombieChatter.com! It had been several days since my friend “admin” had given my punk-ass author status. I figured it was high time for me to write something. So, with presidential politics on the brain, my thoughts turned to a book that I’m currently reading. It’s about Abe Lincoln, and when I came across a little juicy tidbit, I knew I had to share it with you zombie bastards.
So this left me with two thoughts. 1) Abraham Lincoln governed this country ripped to the tits. OR 2) George Carlin hopped back in one of those phone booths from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, picked up that douche-bag from the movie, dressed like our 16th President, and made a b-line back to Dillard’s for a fix.
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